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SEGA turns public urinal into game console

Think of all the possibilities with this thing! Firefighting, Super Mario Sunshine remakes, maybe even a version of Epic Mickey called “Epic Dickey!”

I totally would want one of these installed in my home bathroom.

Known as ‘Toirettsu’, this is more or less a play on ‘Toy’ and ‘Let’s’, where the technologically advanced urinals will boast a sensor target which is capable of detecting when it’s being peed on, not to mention the strength of the stream. Such data will be relevant in the mini games that are displayed over an eye-level LCD display, including battling fires or shooting milk out of your character’s nose.

via SEGA – SEGA turns public urinal into game console.

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Review: Infinity Blade

I’m just going to go ahead and say it:

Infinity Blade is the best gaming experience I’ve had on the iPhone.

Seriously. You can take your Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, and all of your lame tower defense game clones and shove them in your favorite orifice because this game makes those look like amateur hour. From the time I downloaded Infinity Blade on my phone last Thursday, all I’ve wanted to do is play it nonstop.

To put this in perspective, you’re talking a guy who has all of the video game consoles, a gaming-ready PC, a Kindle, a Blu-Ray player, Netflix, a backlogged DVR of TV shows, and a sports fan. Needless to say, I’ve got a lot of entertainment that I could/should have been plowing through instead.

Nope, I had to max out my Infinity Blade character first.

Read the rest of this entry »

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First Infinity Blade update next week, multiplayer coming soon

Shit. and Yes.

Also, while unsurprising, it’s still mindblowing to know that the iPhone  is capable of pushing the same essential graphics required for a Gears of War.

From Joystiq:

“We’re all very thrilled with how cool it looks, but the same amount of time it takes to make a high-res character for Gears is the same amount of time it takes to make one for Infinity Blade or to make these environments,” Chair’s Donald Mustard told Joystiq. “It takes time to make this stuff look awesome, and we want it to look awesome.”

via First Infinity Blade update next week, multiplayer coming soon | Joystiq.

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PlayStation Launching Android and iPhone Apps “Very Soon”

It sucks they’re not launching in the US initially, but I’m guessing they’re trying to throttle network stress. The app doesn’t sound super exciting, but don’t underestimate the value of being able to mastubatorily (If that’s not a word, it should be) look at your own trophies on the go.

Frankly, I wish Microsoft would go cross-platform with Xbox Live Mobile. Locking themselves into Windows Phone 7 puts themselves at a disadvantage if Sony’s willing to spread the love. At the very least, give me the features I get from just going to Xbox.com.

With the 1.0 versions, users will be able to monitor their PlayStation Network trophies as well as friends’ games and online statuses. The apps will also deliver gaming news and PlayStation announcements, and it will let users share news or interesting product details via Twitter, Facebook and email.

via PlayStation Launching Android and iPhone Apps “Very Soon” [PIC].

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Infinity Blade conceived as a Kinect game

Now that I think about it, Infinity Blade would make a whole lot of sense on the Kinect. Just hold a plastic tube in your hands and you’ve got a ready made Kinect game.

Chair co-founder Donald Mustard:

“We always have some cool ideas on deck, and kind of the inception of Infinity Blade began as a discussion around: ‘If we were going to make a Kinect title, what would we make? What would a Chair Kinect game look like?’,”

Infinity Blade conceived as a Kinect game | Joystiq.

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ESPN on Xbox Live updated for the ‘College Bowl Showdown’

I would totally be excited about this if I cared at all about college football. Sounds like a fun way to watch the games on the Xbox 360 – by competing with your friends and winning some stuff.

ESPN on Xbox Live updated for the ‘College Bowl Showdown’ | Joystiq.

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Arcade: Quake Arena Arcade, X-MEN

Both the Quake Arena and X-MEN games were huge parts of my childhood. It’s going to take an incredible amount of willpower to avoid buying these.

Content: QUAKE Arena Arcade
Price: 1200 Microsoft Points 

Add the free trial to your Xbox 360 download queue

Content: X-MEN
Price: 800 Microsoft Points

Add the free trial to your Xbox 360 download queue

Arcade: Quake Arena Arcade, X-MEN and The Path of Go – Xbox Live’s Major Nelson.

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Spike Video Game Awards 2010 Retro Diary

Did you know that each December, Spike TV hosts a Video Games Awards show?

No? Well, I wouldn’t blame you. I’ve been mortified by the show each year by the sheer amount of pure awkwardness crammed into a two hour time period. It’s a delicious blend of Hollywood celebrities who are clearly paid an appearance fee to read poorly written teleprompter lines and games developers who are thrust into an environment where they have to act like charismatic celebrities.

As a games connoisseur, the awards themselves tend to offend me because they’re not something I give a crap about. “Best Performance By A Human Male”? Come on. That’s just an excuse to bandy about names like Martin Sheen and Gary Oldman because someone paid them a princely sum to come read some lines for a video games. It’s like giving an Oscar for “Biggest Name Bought For A Movie.”

Since the awards show is usually held in Los Angeles (this year it was at the convention center downtown), we thought it might be fun to do a little running diary for the live telecast. However, as both you and I had better things to do this past Saturday night, this will be a retro diary as I watch the telecast from my DVR.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Postgame: Vanquish

Ever wonder what kind of game Gears of War would have turned out as if the Japanese developed it? Welp, Vanquish is pretty much that game. Instead of the bad guys sinking cities with giant worms, they sink them with giant mech robots that transform from crab-form to bi-pedal form.

I previewed the game from E3 earlier in the year, and it pretty much turned out how I expected. It’s a third-person cover-based shooter with a ridiculous action movie plot and awkwardly bad dialogue that’s made even more awkward by the Japanese to English translation process. It’s also pretty damn fun, albeit a bit short.

I initially started off on the “Hard” difficulty level because a) I’m an achievement whore and b) I figure it couldn’t be that difficult for a seasoned action game pro like myself.

It was the wrong move.

I was making progress and got through the first Act of the game, but it was quickly becoming a joyless slog. Having to retry sections 10-15 times in a row has the tendency to ruin game flow. If you get this game, do yourself a favor and play it on Normal or even Casual. Though Vanquish has a cover system, it’s at its most fun when you’re zipping along from place to place at superspeed using your suit’s sliding ability. You will feel like a total badass sliding around like a cybernetically enhanced Steven Seagal and gunning robotic Russians down in the face.

There’s a couple of weird game design quirks that I didn’t really understand. For example, you’re penalized for using a melee attack. Hit someone once with it and it immediately depletes your shields. Not only are you extremely vulnerable, you can’t melee again until it recharges. Why anyone would use the melee attack other than to get the achievement is beyond me.

The weapon upgrade system also makes for weird gameplay motivations. Picking up a gun from the ground first replenishes your ammo for that gun to full. Any further weapons of the same type that you pick up will count as an upgrade as long as that gun has full ammo. What this does is make you want to hoard certain guns or else you’ll never get to upgrade them. Fire one shot off and you can kiss that upgrade goodbye unless you somehow find two of the same gun. Believe me, it’s a pretty crappy feeling to have that happen to you.

Other than that, the pace of the game is very fast. You won’t find many stealth sequences or “downtime” at all. There’s always Russian robots to blow up and large fights going on. The story’s nothing to write home about, but let’s not kid ourselves here. If you’re playing this game for exceptional storytelling, you’re playing it for the wrong reasons. The right reasons are if you want to blow the shit out of some shit.

Vanquish is a video gamer player’s video game. By that, I mean it’s under no pretense to appeal to a broad audience or people who aren’t “gamers.” It’s got everything you would expect to see in the 40 Year Old Virgin’s room – robots, guns, lasers, cute CGI chicks – you name it. If you liked any of those things growing up and don’t care about being judged for it, you’ll have a fun time playing Vanquish.

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The Next SSX: What We’ve Heard So Far

They had me at “Next SSX.” I remember playing the original SSX into the wee hours in my college dorm.

From Kotaku:

EA Canada has been working on a new SSX entry for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 for the past two years, according to a source familiar with development of the game. The next SSX, that source claims, will take the game “back to its roots,” but feature controls similar to EA’s Skate franchise, using a controller’s right analog stick to perform tricks. Development of the game is said to be handled by much of the Skate team.

Read: The Next SSX: What We’ve Heard So Far.