Did you know that each December, Spike TV hosts a Video Games Awards show?
No? Well, I wouldn’t blame you. I’ve been mortified by the show each year by the sheer amount of pure awkwardness crammed into a two hour time period. It’s a delicious blend of Hollywood celebrities who are clearly paid an appearance fee to read poorly written teleprompter lines and games developers who are thrust into an environment where they have to act like charismatic celebrities.
As a games connoisseur, the awards themselves tend to offend me because they’re not something I give a crap about. “Best Performance By A Human Male”? Come on. That’s just an excuse to bandy about names like Martin Sheen and Gary Oldman because someone paid them a princely sum to come read some lines for a video games. It’s like giving an Oscar for “Biggest Name Bought For A Movie.”
Since the awards show is usually held in Los Angeles (this year it was at the convention center downtown), we thought it might be fun to do a little running diary for the live telecast. However, as both you and I had better things to do this past Saturday night, this will be a retro diary as I watch the telecast from my DVR.