Seriously, if I hear another video game executive speak the words “redefine”, “amazing”, “entertainment phenomenon”, or “transformation” again, I’m going to RAGE quit gaming.
Microsoft’s 2010 E3 presentation was filled with hyperbolic marketing speak, planned pauses for nerd applause, unrehearsed speakers, and awkward catcalls from the audience whenever an attractive woman took the stage. It reminded me of the much maligned Nintendo presentation from 2008 where the Big N just talked about how much money they made and finished with a dude air drumming for Wii Music. Only the strength of Microsoft’s gaming franchises and a couple of other big announcements kept this presentation from real embarrassment.
At the end of the day I do realize that it’s a presentation on video games from video game executives. Still, would it kill them to actually read and rehearse what they’re doing? It’s not a trivial amount of money being thrown at these things, you know. Plus, Microsoft is trying to reach a “mainstream” audience by live-broadcasting this event all over the web and on television. Why take the chance of embarrassing your company and your products on the big stage?
Here are 6 impressions I came away with from the press conference:
- Awesome Sequels – We saw Call of Duty (7): Black Ops, Halo: Reach, Gears of War 3, Fable 3, and Metal Gear Rising (granted, not a “true sequel” but clearly wouldn’t be a big deal without the name attached) demonstrated. All of these titles look great and will be huge sellers. However, did anyone really need to be convinced of this? It’s cool seeing these titles being played live, but as a fan of previous franchise entries, you’re going to buy them regardless of what Microsoft shows. Where are the original new games? Where’s the stuff that really “redefines entertainment?”
- Kinect UI – Finally we’re entering the age of Minority Report-esque screen interfaces. If it’s as responsive as demoed, it could really change the way we consume media on a console. Voice commands? Meh. It’s almost always less cumbersome to navigate via a physical input device. Controller < Mouse < Pointing with finger. Seeking in a video file is a perfect example of how great the interface can be.
- ESPN – LOVED this announcement at first. The only reason I even have cable TV is because I enjoy live sporting events. ESPN on my console would save me a ton of money each month from my cable bill. Add an interactive score ticker, HD streaming, rewind/fast forward capability, and some neat polls/trivia widgets and you have a real compelling product for sports fans. Acouple of things tempered this excitement, though. 1) You need to have an ISP provider that plays ball with ESPN. I’m not sure if you need to have cable TV service too, but that would just make things pointless if so. 2) The service is basically ESPN 3, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just means that we’re not getting a simulcast ESPN-prime for free – that means no Sportscenter, no Around the Horn, etc. We’re getting one off live events at their programming whim. Regardless, it’ll be a welcome addition since we don’t have to pay for it.
- Kinect Games – If this is the stuff that “redefines entertainment,” I want my old entertainment back. Kinect Sports, Kinectimals, Kinect Joy Ride, Kinect Adventures, Your Shape, and Dance Central are the Kinect titles demonstrated. With the exception of Your Shape and Dance Central, all of these are first party titles. Let’s talk about the Kinect____ titles first. They all look like Wii Sports/Wii Play/Wii Fit minigame knockoffs. I seriously hope Microsoft isn’t planning to charge $59.99 for each of these, because I’d have a hard time justifying that for a bundle of all of them. Every one of those titles looks like something I would play once and never touch again. Regarding Ubisoft’s Your Shape – *yawn*, “fitness genre”. I will say it looks a lot more useful than having to deal with a Wii Fit balance board, though. Dance Central by Harmonix was by far the most interesting title demonstrated. The technology to execute a real dance-move game has not been available until now and it looks quite fun, even for someone like me who’s normally too embarrassed to dance.
- Kinect Proof of Concept Games – We’re treated to a glimpse of the future with a short Star Wars trailer and a Forza tech demo. The Star Wars stuff may as well be CGI without knowing how the actual gameplay works in a live setting. Also, it took us how long to get a decent modern Star Wars game? Consider me skeptical until proven otherwise. As for the Forza stuff, it looks graphically impressive and I’ll definitely want to check it out on the floor. There’s lots of menus and choices to be made in a racing simulation and the Kinect UI should help out greatly there. I can’t help but be concerned over the long term viability of controlling a driving game holding your hands out and pantomiming, though. Where are the pedals? Won’t my arms get tired? Just because something is intuitive doesn’t necessarily make it a great experience in the long run.
- New Xbox 360 (Stealthbox) – What? We got an extended demo of a little Asian girl playing with a virtual tiger and barely a couple of minutes to describe an radical redesign of your flagship product? And it’s shipping right now?! Milkawha?? The new Xbox 360 does look pretty sleek (albeit slightly ZOMG STEALTH FIGHTER COMPUTER CASE mod), with built in 802.11n and vastly superior noise reduction. If I didn’t own an Elite, I would jump at the chance to upgrade. As it is, I can’t justify the $299 price for what amounts to more hard drive space and less noise. Definitely a good time to buy an Xbox 360 for the first time, though.
I really hope the Kinetic titles are much better in person. The idea of affordable motion capture technology is very compelling, but most of the titles Microsoft showed here were uninspiring at best. Harmonix has the right idea with Dance Central, but it’s not a system seller. Where’s the Halo or the God of War or the Mario of Kinect?
Sony and Nintendo, the ball is in your court.